What I Believe

I believe that God is great and glorious and good. I believe that God loves everyone, that God loves us truest and best, and that Jesus is the greatest expression of that love. I believe that knowing God is the most wonderful and joyous part of life. We all need God and knowing God is the Great Story—the most epic of all adventures and the most beautiful of all romances. With my life, I want to know God more each day and to love God and others well.

I believe that every person, no matter how young or old and regardless of who they are in life, deserves to be taken seriously and treated with love and respect. I believe that each person is unique and has a purpose for good in life should they choose to follow God and live into that purpose.

I believe that both good and evil exist in the world and that our daily choices bring about one or the other. We can choose to follow God and do what is good and right or we can choose to rebel and go our own way. As Gandhi said, “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.”

But we cannot do that alone because no one is perfect or righteous on one’s own. We all make mistakes and need God’s grace and forgiveness and the forgiveness of others. When we screw up, we should confess, receive forgiveness, and do our best with God’s help not to make the same mistakes. Even so, God is always there to catch us when we fall. We are freed from guilt and shame, and, in God, we are free to be ourselves and to let knowing God transform us for the better. God is the One who helps us live well—abundant and fulfilling lives.

Lastly, I believe that words and stories matter. I want to write words that pierce the soul and draw people to the heart of God. With my life, I want to encourage others to know God, who loves us truest and best; to realize their special gifts and talents; and to live into their unique calling and purpose for good—their unique stories that contributes to the larger story being told.

Seasons of Life: A Blog from My Time in the Montana Conservation Corps

“For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.”
-Ecclesiastes 3:1

Long summer days transition into fall. Colder, shorter . . . rainier. Our crew has a last hitch filled with epic hikes, overcoming challenges, conquering the elements of nature. Soon we will be weatherizing homes and closing out our seasons with MCC. Goodbyes and transitions lie ahead.

The time has come to begin asking, “What’s next in life?”

Truth be told: we’re all still works in progress. No one has life completely figured out.

Sometimes the future seems like a huge, scary, uncertain, confusing unknown. After all, we don’t know the big picture – the master plan - only God does. We can usually just handle focusing on the step we’re currently on, and sometimes even that is an overwhelming mystery that we need to talk with God about, reflect on, and discuss with family and friends as we seek out answers. 

At other times in that questioning and searching, the future seems full of possibilities, wishes, dreams, fresh adventures, new experiences, optimism—hope. Things will work together for good. Seasons change. We’re in this together.

In all the messiness of life, there is plenty of beauty, goodness, grace, fun. As we wonder what the future holds, we can savor each day in the present. Amidst the challenges and questions, there are simple, daily things that make life worth living: the miracle of leaves changing color, the smile of a friend, laughter shared.

Life in all of its ups and downs, ebbs and flows, is worth living.

So, we will enjoy our last days here, transition, and move forward intrepidly into a new season of life . . .

The Wild One / Goodness Beyond Imagining

"Each day is a gift you've been given." 

Never in a million years could I have dreamed up that I would be out here in Montana: camping out, hiking, building fences, planting, clearing brush from trails, chain sawing, and digging tread. It is immeasurably more than I could have ever imagined that I get to do this! So much goodness and blessing poured out! But then, God, You are always working everything (the ups and downs in life) together for good - out of Your Great Love for us, as it says in the Bible:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:16-21)

I love working with my crew. They are good friends and like a family to me during my time here - an incredible community in which we get to have lots of crazy-awesome-challenging-fun adventures together. And we are surrounded by such glory and beauty and awesomeness in creation that greets us at every turn - sunsets and sunrises, mountain vistas, stars, wildlife, forests, and wildflowers.

It reminds me of what I read once in a book by Robin Jones Gunn, about You, Christ, being the Wild One:)

[Teri] . . . said, "You know how it is with God. His timing and way of doing things are usually unpredictable."
"He's the wild one," Gordon said. (Whispers)

Thank You, God, for bringing me here, for Your crazy, unpredictable, mysterious ways, and for all of Your goodness and blessings! Thank You that I get to do this! I look forward to many more adventures with You! Thanks for romancing and pursuing my heart! And most of all, thank You for Your presence and Your Love! I love You too :)

I am excited and filled with wonder to see what each day holds and to see all You hold in store around each bend in this journey. Lead on, my Good Shepherd, Savior, Lover and Friend :)

Some closing quotes:

"Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other - this is The Great Adventure"
(Steven Curtis Chapman lyrics)

"Life on earth is hard, and full of sorrow, still, life is beautiful when you love and are loved." (Dee Brestin and Kathy Troccoli)

"The earth is filled with your love, O LORD . . ." (Psalm 119:64)

"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.^' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.^' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40)

 "Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Caught Up in a Great Adventure :)

Just wanted to share a brief update to let you know that my time in Montana has been incredibly, unbelievably good - Praise God! I feel completely like I belong here in this place knowing that God called me here for this particular time for Christ's glory and renown - to love Christ and others well and to point them to Him. I want to soak it all up! I have so much peace - even though I have no idea what I will do next in life after the Montana Conservation Corps. It is such a supernatural peace from God that surpasses all understanding (see Philippians 4:7). I want to live fully now and embrace this life and blessing that God has bestowed on me :)
   I walk through my days filled with so much wonder and awe at the glory of God in creation. Romans 1:20 says:

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

There is so much beauty and awesomeness to behold everywhere I turn! I am drawn closer to God and His great love - I want to know Him more deeply with each passing day! :)
   And there are lots of wonderful people to meet. I love the crew that I work with! And others that I have met through MCC, and through the church I attend :) I have met so many great people here. I look forward to knowing them all better! At every stage of life, God has placed particular people in my path who have been huge encouragements and blessings, and for that I am very grateful :)
     I can see how God works all of the good and bad things in life together for good in the end :) He cares about the tiniest details of our lives! Praise God for His Goodness and His Glory and Greatness and for His Love!
   Let the adventure continue :) Much love and God bless!

My Achilles Heel

I had a wonderful time on a recent trip to Kansas and Missouri to visit extended family. We had a lot of good conversations, shared stories, and adventures together. It was incredible to actually meet some of the people that I had heard about in stories from my grandma and my dad. (I had previously only seen some of them on a prior trip when I was 3 years old.) I enjoyed being welcomed into a loving and gracious group of people who I am glad and blessed to know.

The only downside to the trip was the frequent surfacing of my Achilles Heel  . . . that place of weakness where people poke you and you bleed. It hurts. For me, that is the pain of looking young for my age. I want to be seen for the beautiful woman that I am. But often instead, I am belittled, misunderstood, and disrespected. Most often that is the first impressions of strangers who don't necessarily intend to harm, but who don't realize how much their careless words and actions can wound.

One woman asked if I was on spring break and later asked another woman to guess my age, and she said 13. Ouch! I really wished then that I could crawl into a hole or escape to somewhere where people know me for who I truly am and take me seriously. [For the record, I am 26 and that is half my age! Eek!] What hurts the worst is when people find out the truth and still can't handle it. They carry on in shock and then continue to treat me patronizingly.

I wish I knew how to handle those situations better - to somehow speak up for myself and help people understand how their words and actions hurt. Usually in those moments, I don't have words to speak - the pain is too much. I just want to get through it. Even though it happens fairly often, it never ceases to catch me off guard. I'm not made of steel. I have a great capacity to feel and to feel deeply. 

While that has been a great source of pain to me throughout my life and what I often refer to as my Achilles Heel, I also refer to it as my Blessing in Disguise. While it is a frequent source of pain, it is also a constant reminder to me to treat EVERYONE with respect and to treat others how I would like to be treated (like Luke 6:31 says). Because all people, including children, want and deserve to be taken seriously. You can learn something from every person you meet in life. It also reminds me not to place so much weight on first impressions. I am equally guilty of misjudging people based on appearances. But this constantly reminds me to actually take the time to get to know people and understand them better and to see past the way things appear to the way things are – to see with your heart and mind and soul and not just with your eyes. [And I am very grateful for all of the people who have taken the time to love me and get to know for who I truly am and who have respected me and taken me seriously along the way!]  

I know I need God’s help to forgive the people who have hurt me because I don’t want to carry those arrows / wounds with me. God has already forgiven me for so many of my mistakes. I need to be willing to forgive others for their mistakes. He can heal my heart. I don’t need to live out of hurt and brokenness. I’m also sorry for all of the times that I have either intentionally or carelessly hurt others with my words and actions. I am striving to follow God, and He is growing me in my ability to love others well. But I still make mistakes. I need forgiveness and grace too!

When I am hurt by being misunderstood in this way, I am encouraged by God’s truth – that I am beautiful and loved by Him and that the way He created me is good. Some days are hard, and I wish I understood better why God made me this way - but often I can see so much good in it. I find encouragement specifically in these verses:

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” -1 Timothy 4:12
[I feel like that verse is in the Bible for me personally!]

“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” -1 Corinthians 13:12
[Though others may persecute, disrespect, misunderstand, and hurt me by their lack of understanding (and I may at times intentionally or unintentionally hurt others) – God knows us all fully. That’s such a relief that in all circumstances – including the ones of hurt and pain – that we can run to God and be fully known, understood, and loved unconditionally.]

God calls me beautiful. And His word matters most. I love Him too! And I want to love others well.

During that trip I prayed that God would show me that I am beautiful in tangible ways. While I know the truth of who I am in Him, the words of others can be hurtful, and I can sometimes use reminders of the truth. He answered in the form of my Great-Aunt Noreen, a regal, beautiful, gracious, spunky, wise, and kind woman from Australia. Not knowing anything about my struggle, Noreen told me on meeting me, in a splendid Australian accent no less, in truthful sincerity and love, that I was “gorgeous.” My heart soared, and I knew that God was answering my prayer through her and speaking some much needed truth into my life. And that’s when I realized that one word spoken in kindness and love can cover over many hurtful words spoken in ignorance.

(“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” –Proverbs 16:24
and
“The generous will prosper, those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” –Proverbs 11:25)

I am blessed to know many beautiful, gracious women who bring life and love and encouragement to others. I want to bring those things to others too - with God’s help. I want to grow more and more into that kind of woman as I walk with God through life and as He is continually in the process of transforming me for the better. I want a beauty that deepens over time. (As I’ve learned from both of my grandmas, “it takes that long to become that beautiful.”)

So there you have it. Sometimes our greatest weaknesses and sources of pain are also our greatest strengths. And God wastes nothing we experience in life. He works it all together for good if we’ll let Him have control of our lives and take it all to Him.   

The Next Great Adventure

I have been unemployed for quite a while and have been applying for lots of job opportunities that haven't worked out. This last week on Tuesday I interviewed with the Montana Conservation Corps (where my sister Emily is returning this year as a crew leader). And guess what!!! . . . I was accepted :) So it looks like I will be going out to Montana with Emily for a temporary position that goes from the end of May through November :) Woohoo! Yeah!!! I am so excited!!! (cue happy dance :)

The Montana Conservation Corps is something I wanted to do ever since Emily went out there last year (because obviously that would be an awesome adventure!!!). But I thought God would call me into something else career-wise, and I didn't want to let my own desires cloud my view of whatever God wants for my life. I didn't want to act out out of selfishness or escapism or impulsiveness or simply copying what is best for someone else but might not be God's plan for me. But with how things have worked out I can clearly see that this is what God was leading me to all along and what is wise.

I believe God sent Emily out to Montana to bless her and also to prepare the way for me to go out there. I have complete peace and joy that this is what I am meant to do :) It all seems too good to be true!!! I am so blessed!!! - that I get to go on this remarkable adventure, spend time with my sister Emily, explore the beauty of God's creation, and meet lots of amazing people out in Montana. I want to wholeheartedly embrace this next great adventure and leave the rest up to God :)  

Though it was often incredibly painful at the time, I don't regret all of those failed job applications and the rejection I faced - because God used all of that to grow me in faith and trust, in experience interviewing, in patience, in perseverance, and in compassion for others in the challenges they face in life. I am by no means perfect in how I live my life, but in knowing God, He is continually transforming me for the better and guiding me along the way through all of the ups and downs. I have complete confidence now that my worth is not dependent on what I do but is unshakably found in simply belonging to God who loves me truest and best :)

Thanks to everyone who has encouraged and supported me in this season and throughout my life!!! If you would like to pray for my upcoming time in Montana, here is a list of prayer requests.

Prayer Requests:
1. For everyone in the Montana Conservation Corps to come to salvation in Christ and to know God personally, a life-changing relationship with God who loves us truest and best.
2. For all of the members to get along well and form lasting friendships.
3. For God to give me words and ways to encourage others and a heart to love and appreciate them well.
4. For safety for all of the crew members in travel, while camping and hiking, and in working on the trails.
5. For Emily and I to grow in our relationship with God and in character and faith.
6. For all of us to have good attitudes, work hard, not complain, stay positive, build each other up, and have many fun adventures together.

Thanks :)

Katie

God of the Impossible

In my job search, I had been looking for jobs in book publishing and various office jobs for a long time. But presently I have a couple of phone interviews this week for positions with AmeriCorps to help kids with their reading that I am excited about and hope work out. I believe that God humbled me and brought me to this place for a reason and has a plan that I never could dream up on my own for His glory. (In looking back on my life, I can see how He works in wonderful and mysterious ways!) I want to keep seeking Him each step of the way and not fall into the trap again of assuming I know His plan.

My view in the present is so limited. I was thinking today that sometimes things don't line up the way that I think they should or make perfect sense - I can't see how things will come together or work out - like the Israelites at the Red Sea - not understanding how God in His infinite power could make a way through what seemed impossible. Rather than over-analyzing and complicating things and worrying and asking what if questions - I need to simply trust God that He will provide and seek Him one day and step at a time. So, I'll just keep pressing on the best I can and wait to see what God has in store :)

In closing, I would like to pass on some verses that a friend recently shared with me that really encouraged  and blessed me to start my week:

"'For I know the thoughts that I think towards you,' saith the Lord, 'thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me. and I will hearken unto you. And you shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.'" (Jeremiah 29:11-13 KJV )

Thank you to all of the women in my life :)

To my fellow princesses, co-workers, teachers, family, friends, women of faith in Christ,

Thanks for walking with me through this season of life! Or through various seasons of my life! I don’t know where I would be without all of you! You are my oasis! Your friendship has been one of the greatest blessings in life, such as in this presently rough desert period of trial, unemployment, and uncertainty. God couldn’t have chosen better companions for the journey ;) It’s so good to know that we are in this together J

From the Lord of the Rings:
Elrond: Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the ring.
Pippin: Great! Where are we going?

We may not always know where we’re going in life, but God is in control, and for this season of life, I am so glad that He let me journey with you!

 “I thank my God every time I remember you.” –Philippians 1:3

 “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus.” –Philemon 1:4

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” –Proverbs 16:24

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” –Romans 15:13

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” –Galatians 5:22-23

Never Alone

“A friend loves at all times, and a [sister] is born for adversity.” –Proverbs 17:17

“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” –Hebrews 13:5

“And Jesus told his disciples, ‘And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’” –Matthew 28:20

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:6

“Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.’” –Deuteronomy 1: 29-31

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” –Psalm 23:4

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” –Isaiah 41:10

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from God’s presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” –Psalm 139:7-10

“You have made me glad with the joy of your presence.” –Psalm 21:6

Oh how He loves us -1 John 4:10


No matter what anyone else says, you are always loved and accepted by God, the One who loves us truest and best. You are His beautiful daughter, a cherished princess. Here is a song that I wrote related to that

Truest and Best

I am your hero,
your anchor, your rock.
I am your source of life,
your strength, your song.

(chorus)
I’ll always love you truest,
and I’ll always love you best.
My love never fails.
It’s faithful and true.
Forever and always,
I’ll be here for you.

I am your strong tower,
your shelter, your hiding place.
I am your king,
your teacher, your guide.

Repeat chorus

I am everything you want.
I am everything you need.

I am more than enough.
I’m the answer that you seek.
I’m your lover,
your friend, your God.

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” -1 John 3:1

“This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” –Lamentations 3:21-23

You Are Beautiful

I have come to believe that God has created every woman with her own one of a kind beauty. Just as there are so many varieties and colors of flowers, there are so many kinds of beauty. Each woman’s beauty is different and special and splendid and unique. If you ever fall into the trap of comparing and feeling like you don’t measure up: Don’t! Remember you bring beauty to the world in a way that no one else can!

“You are a jewel you're a treasure / You are one of a kind and / You shine just a bright as / The stars in the sky. / You're a rare kind of wonder created just right /  So keep your head up no matter the pain / There’s nothing about you that’s plain” -Zoe Girl lyrics

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” –Psalm 139:14

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  ~e.e. cummings

It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.  ~Desiderius Erasmus

Like the sky opens after a rainy day we must open to ourselves.... Learn to love yourself for who you are and open so the world can see you shine.  ~James Poland
You were born an original.  Don't die a copy.  ~John Mason

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.  ~Johann von Goethe

Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, but why he had not been Zusya.  ~Walter Kaufmann

Do I love you because you're beautiful,
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
~Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella

Beauty... when you look into a woman's eyes and see what is in her heart.  ~Nate Dircks
Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic.  ~Rosalind Russell

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament.  Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quotes from Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge:

“We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It’s true. You’ve seen it yourself. When a woman knows that she is loved and loved deeply, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered. “Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?” When these questions are answered. Yes, a restful, quiet spirit settles in a woman’s heart.
            And every woman can have these questions answered, Yes. You have been and you will continue to be romanced all your life. Yes. Our God finds you lovely. Jesus moved heaven and earth to win you for himself. He will not rest until you are completely his. The king is enthralled by your beauty. He finds you captivating.  . . . We are romanced. We are loved. When we are at rest in that knowledge, we can offer our hearts to others and invite them to Life.”  

“Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman. We know that. Somewhere down deep, we know it to be true. Most of our shame comes from this knowing and feeling that we have failed here.
            So listen to this: beauty is an essence that dwells in every woman. It was given to her by God. It was given to you. . . . Beauty is powerful. Beauty may be the most powerful thing on earth. Beauty speaks. Beauty invites. Beauty nourishes. Beauty comforts. Beauty inspires. Beauty is transcendent. Beauty draws us to God. As Simone Weil wrote, ‘The beauty of the world is almost the only way by which we can allow God to penetrate us . . .Beauty captivates the senses in order to obtain permission to pass straight through to the soul . . . The soul’s inclination to love beauty is the trap most frequently uses in order to win it.’
            God has given this Beauty to Eve, to every woman. Beauty is core to a woman—who she is and what she longs to be—and one of the most glorious ways we bear the image of God in a broken and often ugly world. It’s messy to talk about. It’s mysterious. And that should not surprise us. Women are creatures of great mystery; not problems to be solved but mysteries to be enjoyed. And that, too, is part of her glory. . . .
            It is an essence every woman carries from the moment of her creation. The only things standing in the way of our beauty are our doubts and fears, and the hiding and striving we fall to as a result.”

“. . . what it’s like to come into a beautiful place—a garden or meadow or quiet beach. You find room for your soul. It expands. You can breathe again. You can rest. It is good. That is what it is like to be with a beautiful woman. You are free to be you. It is one of life’s greatest gifts. . . . A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life. She risks being vulnerable: exposing her true heart and inviting others to share theirs. She is not demanding, but she is hopeful. When our assistant Cherie walks into a room, it feels as if someone has just opened up the windows and let the fresh air in. Cherie is young, but that does not stop her from offering her kindness, her hopefulness, her sincere interest in how you are. She offers her beauty by asking good questions and by bringing something of her times with God—an insight, a glimpse into his heart—to bear. She entices others to the heart of God.
            You see, ultimately, a woman invites us to know God. To experience through her that God is merciful. That he is tender and kind. That God longs for us—to be known by us and to know us. She invites us to experience that God is good, deep, lovely, alluring, captivating.”

“As we increasingly become women of substance, women who offer true beauty, we find that our hearts grow in their capacity to love and be loved, to desire, to live. Our hearts are enlarged by Jesus. And by that, we mean that we must be willing to be honest with him and with ourselves about the true nature of our souls—our sorrows, our desires, our dreams, our fears, our deepest and scariest hopes. To invite Jesus to come and walk with us there, to remove from our hearts the things that are getting in the way of our loving. We do not always get what we want, but that doesn’t mean that we no longer want. It means we stay awake to the unmet longing and ache. Wait there. Invite Jesus to come there.”

“Our hearts need to feed on beauty to sustain them. We need times of solitude and silence. We need times of refreshment and laughter and rest. We need to listen to the voice of God in our hearts as he tells us what we need. Sometimes it will be a bubble bath. Sometimes it is going for a run or a movie or a nap. Often, Jesus will call us away to spend precious time alone with him. We grow in our intimacy with Jesus as we practice listening to his urging, his nudges within. Pay attention to them and follow. The Holy Spirit is our guide, our counselor, our comforter, our Great Friend, and he will lead us. Abiding in Christ means paying attention to the voice of God within, nourishing our own hearts and nourishing our relationship with him. Over time.
            Contrary to what the world claims, Beauty does not diminish with time; Beauty deepens and increases. As with June, gorgeous at seventy-five, we find that our latter glory will be greater than our former (Hag. 2:9). . . . I will never forget her because she gave me such hope. I finally understood that it took that long to become that beautiful. Beauty such as hers is rare because it is a rare woman who chooses to keep her heart alive in this dangerous world. Without striving. Her heart was very much alive. Present. Open. Alluring. She had lived years in the presence of God, with the gaze of her heart fixed on him. As we gaze on Jesus, as we behold his goodness, his glory, we are changed into his likeness, the most beautiful person of all.”

Quotes from Women of a Generous Spirit by Lois Mowday Rabey:

“Life-giving women.
            We all know some . . . women we call when we need to talk, women we gravitate toward for encouragement and hope, friends we know will be excited to hear our good news. Women who graciously accept our interruptions and touch us with their love. They give of themselves, their time, and their possessions.
            Women of a generous spirit.
            They greet everyone they meet with a breath of life: a smile, an acknowledgement, a kind word that reflects a genuine caring beneath the simple courtesy. They touch with love: sometimes with the deep significance of friendship and sometimes with the light touch of a caring stranger.
            We are drawn to them when we walk into a room full of strangers. Their approachable demeanor and warm greetings assure us of acceptance. They make eye contact and smile at us as we search the room for a safe place to linger.
            Such women are life-givers.”

“. . . I sat at her kitchen table . . .  I drank deeply of the hope she poured into the hurting places of my life. Claudette asked questions about how I felt. Her eyes held my gaze without shifting discomfort I had come to expect when I talked about the knowing ache of loneliness. She didn’t fill the silence with words or verses of Scripture. Often she just sat with me and let me ramble as I tried to integrate the reality of my faith with my broken heart. When she did speak, she didn’t offer solutions. Her words were few: a touch on my wringing hands and a soft ‘I know.’ Her compassionate eyes said the rest. She absorbed some of my pain and hurt with me.
            Claudette gave me hope.
. . . She told me the truth. The fullness of her life was entwined with threads of grief. Claudette’s life showed me that peace and pain can coexist.
            Through her, I cam to believe that I could experience joy again . . . Claudette gently and continually brought me back to the truth of God’s love.
. . . She’s a life-giver . . .
            She knows my heart and carefully handles my joys and hurts. She’s available, interested, thoughtful, and firmly anchored in her faith. After being with her, in person or over the phone lines, I am lifted, energized, encouraged.”


[Corky] “. . . ‘She touched me,’ I told him. ‘I think she was an angel.’
            This stranger listened to me and heard me. She sat down in front of me full of love, and she gave some of it away. She came like a gardener watering thirsty plants that happened to be in her path, and there I was. I hadn’t even known I was thirsty.”

“Women of a generous spirit have another distinctive characteristic: They give from an unseen reality. Life-giving women fill up and give out in ways that nourish themselves and give life to others. They know God, believe him, and live a faith-filled life. They seem to have something more—more than just head knowledge or blind obedience. They experience a relationship with God that transcends their circumstances. Somewhere deep inside their souls, they commune with him in ways that transform their minds and lives. That is why Claudette was able to walk with me in my pain—and why she is able to give to others in the midst of her own.
. . . She ‘tucks in’ when she needs God’s healing. . . . She would weep her grief out to him . . . and continue to affirm her belief in his love and care.  . . . the hidden, mysterious breath of God sustaining her spirit. . . .a private place where her Father could heal her soul. . . . After a few minutes Claudette asked how I was doing.
            She was back to giving. She had drawn deeply fro the bottomless reserves of God’s love and, in the unseen places of her heart, had vulnerably laid herself open to the healing mystery of his touch. She had placed her empty, hurting soul at his feet and believed in the work he would do to restore her. And when she was filled again with his strength, she had come back.
            Women of generous spirit, like Corky and Claudette, come to every circumstance and relationship full. The edges around their personalities are smooth. They are not easily jarred or offended by intrusions and interruptions. They experience a strange inner calm that permeates even deep pain. They notice others. They touch warmly and ask sincerely. And when they are living in seasons of receiving, they receive graciously.
            They are honest when they are unable to express their generosity. If something in their lives is out of balance, they don’t blame or complain or make excuses. They tell the truth. And they retreat to the source of their strength. The result? God fills them with life-giving love that impacts others and enriches their own lives.”

“They suffer just like the rest of us—the difference is that they have a power that allows them to get through difficulties and be life-givers again.
            The stories in this book are about women like you and me, women who get tired and discouraged and struggle with the pains of life. But they are also women who are becoming women of a generous spirit. Their experience and wisdom can encourage each of us to keep trying. We can lay down our images of perfection and begin to explore how we can touch others. Each of us can become a life-giving woman. It is an adventure in God-discovery that can change us and free us. As we grow more like him, we are released from the bondage of trying to copy some unreachable ideal.”

“ . . . [not about] becoming clones of women who already live as generous spirits. We can learn from them and be encouraged by them, but we don’t become them. We become who God intends each of us to be.”

“We see the fruit of their continuing inner growth in relationship with God . . . this by-product of a relationship.”

“God desires us to look to him to meet those needs. Instead of trying to get something from our giving, we focus on him and receive all we need. When we come to God empty, he fills us in unexpected and supernatural ways.”

“When we come to God with open and honest hearts, he reveals himself to us.”

“When we are convinced of our need for God, we give gratefully because God meets our needs. As we grow to know him better, we become more and more able to lay down our controlling ways and increase our dependence on him.
            . . .  Our hearts begin to be touched; and in turn, we want to touch others.”

From Ch. 9 Me Too from Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn't Show Up the Way You Thought He Would? by Pete Wilson:

“Writer Anne Lamott has said that the most powerful sermon in the world consists of two words: me too.
            I believe she’s on to something.
            Because when you’re struggling with a Plan B circumstance, when you are dealing with unmet expectations, when you’re hurt or doubting, questioning and crying, there’s nothing more healing than knowing someone else has been there. When you’re hurt or doubting, there’s nothing more comforting than hearing someone say, ‘I know what you’re going through.’ When you’re questioning and crying, there’s nothing that helps more than being told, ‘I’m in it with you.’
            Me too.”

“When other people draw near to say those words, somehow you know they’re not going to judge you or look down upon you or lecture you. They get it. They don’t have to say a word because their simple presence is like a healing ointment to your pain.
            So many of my closest friendships today were formed in the midst of a Plan B situation. It’s amazing how quickly you can make a deep connection with another person when you share a common struggle.
            Me too—it’s really a description of one of God’s greatest gifts—the gift of community.”

“ . . .Winners have the tendency to be shallow, arrogant, and completely dependent on themselves. They are almost always critical and judgmental. There’s little giving or sharing. There’s little authenticity. And too often you end up feeling as if you just won a bag called success that ended up weighing a ton but was completely empty.
            I’ve also been in enough losers’ circles with people who were experiencing pain, hurt, and disappointment to know they tend to be different. While people in the winners’ circle are notorious for being judgmental, the broken people in the losers’ circle are a little more reluctant to judge. Their Plan Bs have reminded them we all depend upon the mercy of God.
            So here’s the thing. We’re a lot more likely to encounter community in the circle of people who have been broken. But unless we can get the idea out of our heads that winning is the goal of life or the only thing that counts, we’re apt to miss the community it offers. Unless we can admit to ourselves that, we, too, haven’t made it, we’re apt to miss the community.
            Another way of saying this is that in order to hear a healing ‘me too,’ we have to be real about what is going on with us. We have to be authentic in order to experience authentic community.
            It’s authentic community that can usher in healing even in the midst of the most wrenching Plan B circumstances.”

“Here’s something else I know. If you try to overcome your Plan B, your problem, your junk, your sin, on your own, it will beat you. Surrender your will, humble yourself, as scary as that is, and then another kind of life is possible.
            ‘Have mercy on me, a sinner’ are the words that enable you to accept God’s forgiveness and comfort. They are also the words that open your ears to hear ‘me too’ from other people around you.’”

“Two Are Better Than One

The writer of Ecclesiastes wisely observes:


Two people are better than one,
       because they get more done by working together.
 If one falls down,
       the other can help him up.
    But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls,
       because no one is there to help.
 If two lie down together, they will be warm,
       but a person alone will not be warm.
 An enemy might defeat one person,
       but two people together can defend themselves;
    a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

            In the midst of our Plan B we desperately need a community pledged to build each other up and to watch out for each other’s good. Paul urges, ‘We who are strong in faith should help the weak with their weaknesses, and not please only ourselves’ (Rom. 15:1).
            This kind of community is indispensable when it feels as if your life is falling apart.
            Having personally watched hundreds of people go through Plan Bs, I would say one of the single most important factors in whether we lean on God or not is the group of people we have around us. Separated from community, we tend to think the worst. Separated from community, we tend to tilt toward hopelessness. And while authentic community doesn’t take away the pain in the midst of a Plan B, it certainly helps reframe the pain.
            The only thing worse than disappointment is disappointment without a community. It’s disappointment with a community that can help guide you toward a hope anchored in our God.
            Philip Yancey says that ‘God’s presence often comes as a by-product of other people’s presence.’ I’ve personally experienced many moments in the midst of Plan Bs where God’s presence was most evident by the community he had placed around me. However, the benefits of this community always came after I took the risk of opening up my life to others.”

Who’s Holding Up Your Hands?
Image by Dawn Camp.
Written By Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect

“Just finished my workout. R U up?”
“Tomorrow is February 1, you know. Did you write it yet?”
“Doing this study with you is really helping me be more consistent with my quiet times.”
Those are just a FEW of the text, Skype and Facebook messages I’ve received recently, encouraging me to stick with my goals. Somehow, I have managed to stumble into accountability in just about every area of my life. From my faith to my health to my blogging, my goals are getting a boost from some amazing women.
———————————-
Mandy sends me a text message, Facebook message or both every single day, asking me if I’ve worked out and encouraging me to stick with it, give it my best and – in general – “git ‘er done!” I told her she’s like my own personal Jillian Michaels, which I meant in the nicest way possible. (Mostly. She works out at dark o’clock in the morning, so her texts come mighty early for this night owl!)
Jill is the first person I told about my certifiably insane idea to run a half-marathon this year. As a matter of fact, she’s doing it with me. And while she doesn’t have more pounds than I care to say to lose like I do, she’s thrown herself into working out and has even [brace yourself] given up sugar. Every time I confess to slipping in my resolve to make healthy choices, she threatens to drive 12 hours and give me more than a virtual kick in the pants!
Tricia is all business when it comes to blogging, but she’s all heart when it comes to loving her friends. When I told her I had some dreams for changing things up on my blog, she told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to just do it – and do it now. Then she held my hand and prayed for me. Then she reminded me that time was passing and urged me to quit procrastinating and write!
Brittany is younger than me, and for a while, I fancied myself a possible mentor for her. Instead, she’s become one of my most favorite and closest friends who inspires me to love the Lord and His people more. And, she does our Bible study homework daily. Like we’re supposed to. Instead of all at once a few hours before we meet. (Like somebody I know…that’s me…I’m talking about me here.)
———————————-
It’s been a long time since I’ve had so many women standing by me and encouraging me to do more, to live more. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much accountability in so many parts of my life at the same time. And, it’s no coincidence, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen such growth in my life at one time, either.
I’m reading through the One Year Bible (again), and I love this verse from the Old Testament:
When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. (Exodus 17:12)
I realize that this particular Bible story is about teamwork and leadership, but the way I see it, it’s also about friendship and not going it alone. And THAT is what I’m thankful to have in my life today.
The women I mentioned – and several others – are speaking truth into my life, walking beside me in a pursuit of excellence and holding my hands up. And the result is a beautiful picture, if you’ll imagine it with me: My amazing friends and me, with our hands raised to God. Together, we’re following God and honoring Him with our lives – something that’s a lot harder to do when you stand alone.
Do you have someone in your life who holds up your hands, who walks with you through struggles and stumbling blocks? Who keeps you accountable?

So thanks again! I hope these words encourage and uplift you and show you how much you mean to me!

Much love in Christ forever!
-Katie Wandell

“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”
-1 Corinthians 13:13

"Friendship is God's special way of loving us through someone else."

Unshakable Worth Not Based on Performance

“. . . In repentance and rest is your salvation,
   in quietness and trust is your strength . . .” from Isaiah 30:15

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by all the good things I want to do with my time. With being unemployed right now, I have plenty of time. I sometimes feel pulled in lots of different directions. I want God’s help to “number my days rightly.” I want to live with His peace in my heart. I want to accomplish things for Him, but I also want to live with spaces to just be. I can’t do everything all at once. I need help in deciding what to do each day and in focusing fully on the moment at hand.
    I like these lyrics from an Andrew Peterson song, “If you trust me with your time, I’ll spend it wisely.” That’s what I want! I want to walk with God daily and for Him to guide my steps.
    Even though that’s how I started off my day yesterday, I got sucked into the pressure to hurriedly move right from one task to the next. Ah!
    At one point, I happened to open up the book The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee and ch.6 stood out to me in the table of contents - The Performance Trap - “I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself” - Fear of Failure - God’s Answer: Justification. I skimmed some, but am looking forward to reading the whole book later. But right now, it really got me thinking . . .
    There are so many good things I want to do, which is good, but cramming is an unsatisfying way to live. Am I doing things to prove my worth? If so, that is a trap because you can’t ever do enough. There is always more you could have done or something you could have done better, and that leaves you feeling unworthy.
    With being unemployed, I sometimes do feel like I have something to prove. But my worth is not based on what I do or accomplish. I already have value in God, in His great love for me, and in belonging to Him - in simply being - regardless of what I accomplish in a day.
    I do pray that God would provide something soon and show that He is taking care of me and leading me, and I know that He will. I don’t need to worry or be afraid. I can rest in Him. 
    In Him, I have grace and freedom. My worth is not dependent on what I do or on “measuring up” to a standard. I do want to live wholeheartedly to love God and others and to seek God’s help in living a well-balanced life.
     I am extremely grateful for mercy and fresh starts. Today, I want to begin anew. Rather than getting caught up in a whirlwind of busyness. I want to walk with God - to celebrate and savor each moment of the day in relationship with Him.
    Christ has set me free! I belong to Him! I am beautiful and loved and never alone! My worth comes from Him, and it is secure and unshakable!
    In closing, here is a song and some verses that express that:

What If - Jadon Lavik

What if I climbed that mountain, what if I swam to that shore
What if every battle was victorious then would you love me more
Would you love me more
What if I were everyone’s first choice, what if I went farther than before
What if I stood high above the rest than would you love me more
Would you love me more

You say I belong to you apart from the things I do
You say I belong to you I’m in awe of why you do
Why you do, why you do, I’m in awe of you, ooh

What if I ignored the hand that fed me, what if I forgot to confess
What if I stumbled down that mountain then would you love me less
Lord would you love me less

What if I were everyone's last choice what if I mixed in with the rest
What if I failed what I passed before then would you love me less
lord would you would you love me less, oh no oh no oh no

You say I belong to you apart from the things I do
You say I belong to you I’m in awe of why you do
You do you do you do

What have I done to deserve your son sent to die for me
What can I give I want to live give me eyes to see
In a world that keeps changin’ there’s one thing that I know is true
Your love is stayin’ there’s nothing else I’ll hold onto

You say I belong to you apart from the things I do
You say I belong to you I’m in awe of why you do
Why you do

You say I belong to you apart from the things I do
You say I belong to you I’m in awe of why you do
I’m in awe of you I’m in awe of you

The way you love me, the way you do
The way you do , the way you love me, you love me , you love me
The way you do the way you do the way you love me,
the way you love you love you love


“. . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. . . . Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. Because of what law? The law that requires works? No, because of the law that requires faith. For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.” Romans 3:23-25a; 27-28

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.” -Romans 5:1-2

“Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’” -John 8:34-36

On Eternity, Grace, and Vacationing in Florida

Our vacation in Florida as a family this past week was like a glimpse of heaven on earth - surrounded by so much beauty and romance and adventure where the cares of everyday life drift away - much like a beautiful dream you don't ever want to wake up from but wish could go on forever :) ("He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11)
      My parents, younger sister, and I enjoyed the beach with our two golden retrievers, looking for shells and dolphins, soaking up the sunshine, swimming in the pool, relaxing in the hot tub, biking and running, savoring the splendor of the cottage where we stayed, watching the sunsets, applauding God's glory and creativity, and being lulled to sleep by the crashing of ocean waves :) So good! Restoring. Relaxing. Delicious. Wonderful. Memorable.
     I think I treasured the trip that much more with being in a rough desert season of unemployed and much in need of some time for soul healing. The trip was completely paid for by my parents - an incredible gift, an illustration of grace, extravagant love and favor, completely unearned and undeserved by me but very much appreciated.
     After that trip, I feel more restored and excited about the adventures that the future holds. Praise God for His goodness to us and His grace and His love!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever." -Psalm 136:1

The Gravity of Love

I've been thinking a lot lately about how my deepest hunger and thirst is for more of Your presence, God, and for more of Your Love. That's something that is at the heart of every person whether they realize it or not.

I just read this passage in Irresistible Evangelism by Steve Sjogren, Dave Ping, and Doug Polluck that I really liked:

The Gravity of Love

A warm, soft bed at the end of an exhausting workday; an ice-cold glass of water on a sweltering summer afternoon; the tiny, trembling fingers of a newborn infant - these are a few of the things that are simply irresistible to most people. They appeal directly to powerful needs that God designed into each human being. He made us to hunger for comfort and refreshment and to thirst for love. These God-given urges compel us in a way that mere words never could.
     While the Pharisees spent most of their time disputing the meanings of words, Jesus ministered directly to people's needs. He recognized them and invited himself to dinner in their homes. He fed them, served them, and healed their sons, daughters, and mothers. As Jesus ate with them, drank with them, and mended their wounds, he told stories and asked questions that awakened a deep, supernatural thirst within them - a thirst only living water could quench. Jesus' love beckoned to people and drew them closer to God with a spiritual power as basic as gravity. . . .
     Poet Louis Ginsberg once said, "Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistible." We all long to feel, taste, and touch unselfish, unconditional love. The longing is a part of our spiritual DNA. In a world filled with disappointment, fear and cynicism, negative forces often muffle but never completely drown out the heavenly Father's call into love. It is always there in the background, waiting to be amplified and clarified by touch - the touch of God's people. When touches bearing God's mercy and kindness get through, mysterious and wonderful transformations begin to take place. 

Love is metaphysical gravity.
-R. Buckminster Fuller

. . . a more intimate and life-transforming relationship with Jesus Christ . . . the basic inner yearnings and spiritual receptivity that God has built into the hearts of all people.

That's what I want, God! for Your Love to shine through my life to others and for them to know You truly and deeply and for them to realize how great Your Love is for them!!!
     And even though I already know You - I realize that my deepest hunger and thirst and desire in life is to know You more and to experience Your great and perfect Love!!!

Your love is life to me / My truest longing / My deepest need, yeah / Without it one moment / I don't know where I'd be / Your love is life to me. -Avalon lyrics

     Sometimes I mistakenly try to fill that longing with other things like wanting to get married someday or wanting a purpose/mission/job in life or the approval and friendship of others. And sometimes You do speak Your Love to me through those things - but I don't ever want them to take Your place!!! I want everything as it should be - not to be idols that distract me from You but as signs pointing me back to You - the true source of my deepest need for Love. Living Water. Bread of Life.  the One who Loves me truest and best :)
     I love You too, God!!!

"Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 13:13 

To the Love of my life

I am in the desert and in the trial, God. I am a confused and broken lost sheep. You brought me here to refine me and for me to learn and grow, but You did not bring me here to abandon me nor will You leave it up to me to figure things out on my own. You are my Good Shepherd, who never leaves nor forsakes me, and You will bring me out of this and show me just what I need to know when I need to know it. You will always be with me in whatever I face in life, both the good and the bad. You are good, God. You work all for good, God. You began a good work in me, and You will see it through to completion. I love You too!

“Better is one day in your courts
   than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
   the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
   from those whose walk is blameless.

 LORD Almighty,
   blessed is the one who trusts in you.”
-Psalm 84:10-12