So. . . those of you who know me and where I am at right now in life will have heard that I am training for a marathon at the end of May. It will be my seventh one (crazy right). I was all excited and gung-ho when I signed up, and never expected my motivation to completely dry up. I have had some down moments at times with running, but never before struggled to this extent with a lack of motivation to run and with dread and discouragement regarding my training. I have had some ugly moments in the process. A seven mile run was a little bit of a turning point to realize that I could feel absolutely terrible and still run. But my motivation and joy were still very much missing in action.
But then! . . .
At my church just yesterday, in the latest sermon series Reel Faith: Finding God in the Movies the message was about relating faith to the movie Secretariat and was all about running your own race.
1) God has given us each individually a race to run that doesn't look like anyone else's.
2) The largest part of all of our races is knowing God in relationship and experiencing His Great Love and returning it with out lives.
3) We will face obstacles in running our race.
4) We can face obstacles with courage and faith in God and not give up (even though at times we may feel like it!).
5) God is good no matter what obstacles we face, and we can bring Him glory and encourage others when we press on and keep running our race. He will help us to run the race and overcome the obstacles along the way and grow us in faithful endurance.
6) We have an imperishable reward in Christ. Victory is already ours in Christ and on its way so lets press on to run our races well and take hold of it. Philippians 3:12-14 says, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."]
In addition to the sermon, I was so encouraged at church yesterday by friends: that I am not the only one who ever struggles with motivation, and I am not alone in facing life; through a story about Navy Seals and only a few making it to become that: that often in our humanness, we give up when things sound hard but that you never know what you are capable of unless you show up and try ("Because you never know how far you can run unless you run." -Secretariat movie quote); and also that I am prayed for in this battle with motivation :)
This morning, I was going set out to run 20 miles for my training . . .
Beforehand, I read a Heart to Heart with Holley blog about not always having to place expectations on yourself but showing up and enjoying life and living each day as though you are experiencing it all for the first time like a child does. I was encouraged by that.
But also wondered - what could I do to get me through this long run? And an aha moment struck me: I can pray for people during my run and bless others' lives, and I can rejoice and praise, God, no matter what the outcome. And if I die and have to walk a lot at the end: then I will pray and praise for even longer, so take that Satan! Enough of ugly schemes to discourage me! I'm fighting back once again! :)
So, I set out to run while my Dad biked with me. . .
Early on in the run, I also realized / remembered that my worth is in no way dependent on the outcome of how well I do on this particular run or at all dependent on how far or fast I can run. - It is and always will be completely secure in belonging to Christ - in belonging to God and being Loved by God - the Most Wonderful One of All who Loves us Truest and Best :) I can rejoice and enjoy the journey - no matter what happens on this run or in life :)
And I had so much joy in Christ during the run - I couldn't even believe it myself! - The kind of joy that completely surpasses human understanding.
I couldn't even believe that I was the same person who just the other day had been in "the depths of despair" and rock bottom - my lowest point thus far in motivation for running. What a complete turnaround! And I owe it all to You, God :)
I love how You are always meeting me right where I am at in life - that never ceases to surprise, delight, awe, and amaze me :) But nothing catches You off-guard. It was no surprise to You, God, that I would struggle with motivation in training for this marathon. You are completely aware of my humanness - that I have good and bad days, that I struggle with making mistakes and sin, that I have areas of weakness. You love me through it all! And You are always growing me for the better and walking with me through all of life and working everything together for good (even my weaknesses, mistakes, and low points!) :)
So I did pray for people and praise God on the run, and it was also like I was seeing the world for the first time: some sweet looking flowers, a lake in a gravel pit that I never even noticed before, a donkey, some horses, other people passing by, the wind, green trees growing leaves, etc.
At one point on the way out with the wind at my back, I tied my long-sleeved shirt around my neck and felt like I was a caped crusader / super hero / prayer warrior :) Yahoo! And then on the way back, my cape blew backwards as I ran into the wind, and I felt like I could fly :) And I almost thought flying was worth freezing to death for, but after awhile thought better of it. lol. I put my long-sleeved shirt back on.
The first 12 miles cruised by before I started to get somewhat tired. I ran another 3 more miles for 15, and then decided to walk with my Dad for a bit and get our two golden retrievers at our house so they could come with us. We headed out to an area where we could let the dogs off their leashes. And my dad was like, "Do you want to run some more?" And I thought, why not? So I ran up and down the grassy field a couple of times with the younger dog running with me, and it was great fun :) Then, thanks to my dad again (sometimes I need people to encourage / push me in life ;) I ran most of the way home and another mile after that! :)
So, those 20 miles were an incredible gift and blessing and joy, thanks to You, God ;) Hallelujah! As always, You rock, God! And I Love You too! :)
In closing, I would like to share some Bible verses and a song that encouraged me a lot :)
". . . Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." -Nehemiah 8:10
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." -2 Corinthians 9:7-9
"Desert Song - Hillsong lyrics
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me, Lord, through the flames
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and he is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on his promise I'll stand
. . .
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
. . .
And this is my prayer in the harvest
And favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I received I will sow"
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